Guidelines for Skillful Conversation

·Listen and inquire for understanding.

Listen to how you are listening.

·Suspend judgment.

Doesn’t mean giving up on your point of view. Relax the debate in your head. Respect self and others as genuine learners.

·Use “I” statements.

Speak from own experience and feelings. Connect with own experience and feeling.

·Share your thinking.

Articulate your assumptions. Allow fuzzy logic to be visible.

·Allow self and others to be inarticulate.

Provides creative space. Doing so builds capacity for learning as a team.

·Express and welcome divergent views.

OK to challenge sacred cows. Drop the guard around what is politically correct. Allow the contentious view.

·Respect silence.

Creates space for creativity to emerge.

·Stick with difficult and important issues.

This is a critical aspect of change leadership.

·Confidentiality.

Respect the sharing of sensitive information. When in doubt, ask before sharing.

·Be responsible for your own participation.

·One conversation at a time.