Time-In: When Time-Out Doesn't Work
by Jean Illsley Clarke
Softcover, 74 pages
Reviewed by Brandel Falk
From: NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 22 No. 4, July-August 2005, p. 175
Do you find time-out to be ineffective? If so, Time-In: When Time-Out Doesn't Work is a very readable book that the average parent can finish in a day. The author explains that the purpose of time-out is to take a child out of a situation that leads to misbehavior and give her or him time to cool down and consider how to act in similar situations in the future. The components of time-in, however, require being present with a child to teach problem-solving skills and help change the behavior.
The four "puzzle pieces" of time-in are "ask," "act," "attend," and "amend." Each is explained in a short, clear chapter of the book. The "ask" skill consists of asking the child a question that helps him or her to listen and to think. By asking rather than telling, the child is given the opportunity to consider more appropriate behavior. "Act" consists of redirecting a child or enforcing logical consequences to change the child's behavior in a positive way. "Attend" involves the parent paying attention to the child or having the child pay close attention to a situation. "Amend" is having the child undo any damage that his or her actions have caused. A number of examples are given for each of the four tools, as well as situations using various combinations of them.
If the time-out approach doesn't work for you, this book can help you get through to your children (ages one through 12) and teach them how to be competent, to think, and to succeed.